Today’s dating isn’t that of days of yore.  Folks say, “have fun”, “enjoy yourself”, “don’t get serious” – but I thought “dating” was for the purpose of finding a spouse? So, if you go out on one date w/ a guy and know it’s not gonna’ happen, do you not go out any more? Or if you go out several times, what if they consider you a “couple” or want to jump into bed or seek to make it romantic …. blah, blah, blah. Is it wrong to go out & let him pay (on dates, as it should happen) when you know it won’t be romantic?

See – this is why I don’t like “dating” – I don’t know what it means and it doesn’t mean the same from generation to generation.

OK, well the Wednesday night Mr. James-Earl-Jones-Voice stood me up.  YUP! We were supposed to meet at 8:00 (way late for me, so I was already making concessions – not a good start).  I left 45 minutes early to get from Stone Mountain to N. Lake Mall.  (My ETA estimator has not been recalibrated to Atlanta time yet, so I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time.) Good thing I did, too.  I got there in 25 minutes, but it took me another 20 to find the bloomin’ Starbucks.  I had to call the store & ask them where in the strip mall they were! So, I walked through the restaurant & he wasn’t there yet.  I plopped myself outside, in front where anyone walking up could see me.  By 8:15, he’d not arrived yet.  No word from him.  I texted him “Did you get lost?”.  5 minutes later he calls.  He got “hung up” on the Braves game.  “Were you at the game?” No. “Did you get stuck in game traffic?” No.  He had some weird story about helping a friend and he kept telling his friend he “had to go” and somehow the Braves were involved.  He said he was leaving then & would be there in 20 minutes.  I told him there was no need.  “You won’t wait 20 minutes?” Uh, no.  I’d waited 20 minutes already – no call, no text, no notification that he was going to be late.  No. I’m not waiting.  OK – that was a BIG step for me.  But I did kinda’ weeny out when I said we could reschedule. However, I have decided NOT to reschedule.  If he was that disrespectful on a first “meet n’ greet” date, that was all I needed to know.  YAY me!

This past Saturday, I had another date.  This time it was w/ Mr. Carribean (he’s not said where in the Caribbean he is from, so that’s a good name for him).  He didn’t cancel or stand me up! All things said, it was a pretty good date.  We ended up at Panera Bread.  I had a bowl of soup.  He had nothing.  Said he wasn’t hungry.  OK, now that was kinda’ weird, but I didn’t let it slow me down.  We sat and talked for a couple of hours. It was enjoyable.  I don’t see us “going” any where because I’m not attracted to him “like that” – so do I go out with him again if he asks?  He has distracting dental work (or lack thereof).  But, I was aware of & intrigued by the fact I was out with a black man and never thought twice about it.  I thought I’d be self conscious – but I wasn’t.  Maybe it’s because I have other black friends & don’t think about them being black unless, like poor C., they end up like a speck of pepper in my lily white world.  I was never self conscious of being out with older guys either.  People are just people.

So, maybe if Mr. India calls me back after the pollen season, I’ll go out w/ him. (He’s cancelled twice – so do give him another chance?) I don’t know.

The funny part (for me) is I don’t really care. Yes, I over think this stuff wayyyy too much – but in the end I don’t care. Yes it would be fun to have a guy to hang out with & do stuff with & maybe even …. but, like this morning, I had a fab breakfast with an old school mate who is now a friend.  It’s not that deep.  I don’t need a man. I want a man.  Not that badly, though.


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