Online Meat Market


Well, I’ve put up my profiles.  I have a couple emails on Ma7ch.com, but I’ve not upgraded to read them.  I have an official “Online Dating Coach”.  She cracks me up.  A friend of mine who did it a lot before she got married.  She didn’t meet her husband online, but through a guy she did meet online.  So, she’s teaching me how to screen guys and encrypt messages so it’s all sneaky spy stuff and if you want, you can talk off the website and not pay to upgrade.  For instance, it never dawned on me to avoid guys with “69” in their screen name.  Oh, I have a rude & raunchy mind, but that doesn’t mean I jump in the sack right away. She told me “hot pants” means he wants to get into mine.  I asked if “hot” followed by a location meant that’s where he wants to put his wiener.  She laughed & said no.  “hot lips” meant he wants to kiss me.  After 3 or 4 hot pants, hot lips, hi sexy notes I never responded to he finally quite writing.

There’s another guy who is a total geek.  In a couple of his photos he is wearing his blue tooth.  I mentioned this to Coach.  She said, “Well, duh, he’s an engineer.”  Oh, yeah, point taken.  I’ve emailed w/ him a few times.  He’s not much of a talker.  Or looker for that matter.

Now, there is Chaz.  He’s sort of funny, and a smart ass.  He said (via meatmarket.com), “We should talk”  I said (ever so coyly), “We are” …. uh, oh, ok, so I gave him <gasp> my phone number. We’ve chatted via text.  I made plans Friday night, so if he asks I’m not available.  I can’t be that easy!  Well, yes I can.

But, just today, I read about a super strain of gonorrhea that drugs aren’t working on.  Yay – another reason to have stock in Energizer & Duracell.  That’s all I need. If my vagina’s not going to fall out from shriveling up and drying, it’ll just rot off if I use it.  Another advancement in the war against humanity.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. mirannanda
    Jan 23, 2014 @ 16:11:04

    It sounds like you are having a good time! You are lucky to have a coach to steer you from getting a virtual venereal disease. 😉
    m

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