Worse than Any Monkey

Ok, some of ya’ll may know, I’m a recovering alcoholic.  Yes, I said it. I broke my anonymity. I just celebrated 22 years sober.  Not a drink to be had.  I went in the program so young that many question my addiction.  But I don’t care.  It’s not about you, it’s about me.  In AA they tell you all kinds of dumb slogans.  It seems the dumber they are, the truer they are.  Like : One Day at a Time, Don’t leave before the miracle, Keep coming Back, It works if you work it & The Monkey never leaves.

I learned first hand about the monkey these past two years.  I didn’t have the physical compulsion to drink.  However, the monkey was waving his whiskey soaked banana under my nose reminding me that I could escape from alllllll those emotions if I wanted it.  It was only a drink, or 8 away.  Realistically, after this many years, it was probably only 1/2 a shot away. I’m sure I’m not the heavy-weight I used to be.  But I know so much more now.  I remember sitting in my car outside of the bar crying because I wanted a drink so bad.  I remember not remembering many nights.  I remember driving drunk.  It is vital I remember. I know HE is not worth it!

5 months ago my marriage to Daddy Booboo was severed.  Gosh, I can’t believe it’s been that long. Or that recent.  We had 90 days to complete the property finances (cars, house, etc.).  Since then, the excitement as been “The Verse of the Month” – he writes something nasty on the “memo” section of his alimony check each month.  It has reached a state of amusement for anyone interested.  I had hoped that’s all I’d hear from him.  Oh, not so lucky.  Late last night I received an email from him.  I have copied it below because it is a perfect example of his psychopathy.



On Jan 19, 2014, at 4:26 PM, RUBALFOP@XXX.com wrote:

I again ask you to consider a lump sum pay off.  I plan on retiring next July.  I no longer own property in Limestone County, it’s a matter of public record.  I have dropped my health care and cashed out my 401 (retirement less than $800 a month).
Jxxx’s surgery looks like it will take place sometime in 2014.  I will either retire or retire on disability.
I will have to go back to court and ask for relief from the Judge.  At that point, I really don’t have a whole lot to loose, I won’t have  much for you to go after, and being concerned about work won’t be on the table.  
You also won’t have to pay taxes on a lump sum, that will save you several thousand dollars.
I know all you want is to cause me as much grief as you can, and you have, but surely you understand all of this monthly money is literally a heart beat from going away,
So consider a figure I can afford to pay and take the bird in hand instead of two in the bush. You will have money and I won’t have to deal with you again.

On Jan 19, 2014, at 9:47 PM, Mxxx wrote:

Why do you insist on saying I want to cause you grief? You’re the one that dumped me, who didn’t want to work on our marriage, who didn’t support me when I was sick, and likes calling me names every month like a little five year old.  Keep telling yourself it is all my fault.  Why should I cooperate now when you refused to cooperate for two years?  And I’m not “not cooperating”, I just went the route (court) that would provide for the divorce you wanted.  You didn’t like the laws or the judge’s decision.  Why is that my problem? I’m not asking you to deal with me.


On Jan 20, 2014, at 6:08 AM, Rxx<rubalfop@xxx.com> wrote:

It’s not about cooperating with me, it’s business, I should realize you don’t give a rat’s ass about that. Oh well, I tried, I don’t wish myself bad health, but I truly hope it back fires on your greedy self.  

Sent from my iPhone

<Then he wrote another email>

Oh, I didn’t call you names and you had 11 years to work on our marriage, you just didn’t give a damn about anything or anybody but your self, that’s the truth.  I told you all along, nothing good ever comes out of ill gotten gains, what you work for is what will make you prosper. Christian my ass.

Sent from my iPhone

See, it doesn’t matter what I say or do.  He is the victim. He has been wronged. He is not responsible for anything that has happened.  Also, did you note the only thing he replied on was that I didn’t work on our marriage.  Um, OK…. wow… He is uglier & hairier than any monkey on my back, but not worth playing with the monkey.  Maybe one day I’ll buy one of those old “Whack-A-Mole” arcade games & put his face on all the moles.  How fun would that be?!?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. idodoyouride
    Jan 20, 2014 @ 12:49:55

    hi you left me a msg, im from sociopath the damage they do to those who love them. i wanted to respond to your msg i got. i stopped publishing my blog because even under an alias he found me and was threatening me. i know i shouldnt let that stop me but i just wanted everything to stop. ive done really well, i mean i am forever fucked up from it but im slowly healing and trying to move on. the only way i can really deal with all that happened is to look at all this like some huge learning lesson. it sure opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself and why this happened. thank you for your msg i really appreciated it. glad to know someone was reading it. bellanomore x

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