Thrown Out With the Trash


A standing Pendente Lite Order means that everything is supposed to stay “status quo” “The existing state or condition” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/status+quo?s=t  I love Dictionary.com).

EVERYTHING except the Corvette is solely in his name.   I had heard of this before by women who got shafted by a husband. I thought to myself “How could they trust someone so much?” Ha! now I know!

I filed a motion and got a PL Order as soon as Daddy Booboo started cutting me off from the money.  I don’t want that to sound like I was after the money, but we had a very agreeable way of doing things.  For example: gas.  We ALWAYS charged our gas and he paid the bill in full every month.  That is just how it had been for 10 years.  But he cut me off from all the charge cards.  Prior to the PLO, I did make a change – I took my paycheck away from the direct deposit into the joint account.  Now that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t contribute to the household expenses, I just was not going to give him free rein of my money any more.  I mean, why should I? He just dumped me.  We have (yes, it’s still here, just no $) a joint checking account at TVA FEDERAL CREDIT UNION.  I use all caps because I want you to take notice and pay attention to the following:  He is the employee at TVA, so through him, we could get into the FCU.  HE HAD MY DEBIT CARD REVOKED! He couldn’t throw me off of the account, but the could have the bank revoke my debit card.  Wow!  What an archaic bank.  I would recommend not giving them your business.  The PLO was supposed to stop him from making any more changes.  Meaning, he was not to sell the house, any vehicles, etc.  It would have been just like him to sell everything and keep the money because it was all in his name and he could.

I hope that is enough history to help you understand that he has violated that Order in big and small ways.  He painted inside the house.  He changed a bedroom completely.  He changed the combination on the safe.  Then he hid the corvette.  He refused to tell me where it was, claiming I had threatened to damage it.  I never made any threat against him or any physical property or assets.  Actually, he was passing the word that I was violent and he feared for his safety.  Uh, what?  (during a convo w/ an insurance provider who decided I’d had enough counseling, I explained to her as I sat in traffic on I-75 in down town Atlanta wherein I explained that my mom had just been diagnosed with metastasized cancer & brain tumor and that I was still living with my husband that we were both cops, and though we are not prone to violence, we are both very capable of it)(yes, that is a funny).

So, we go back to court with a list of PLO violations against him, with the doozy of the fact that not only has he refused me to drive the corvette by removing the keys from where we always kept them, he has now hidden the corvette and refuses to divulge its location.  The judge refused to make a ruling, saying only “No one is to drive the corvette and I better not find out anyone has!” Oh, the judge is so big and bad in his own mind.  He doesn’t rule.  He doesn’t hold my husband in contempt of court.  He doesn’t do anything but talk to us like petulant children and makes me out to look like a trifling bitch.   The sad part is, the court was the only hope of protecting my trampled self.

Well, after 6 months post divorce trial, we are still married.  The judge has once again refused to do his job and issue an order.  He wants us to agree, have the attorneys draw up the order that he just has to sign.  Uh, dude, if we could agree, we wouldn’t have gone to trial.  I digress, so after 6 months post trial and many discussions with smarter people than I, I FINALLY get in touch with my attorney (who has been very scarce since then – a post unto itself).  During this conversation I learn some vital information and make some concessions to get this over.   It is a shame that, once again, I have to be the one to acquiesce.  However, given the other options, I may not bet getting what I’m entitled to under the law of Alabama, I am coming out ahead of Daddy BooBoo’s offer and even my own offer of settlement.  So, even though when he refused to see reason of my offer I decided to go with the letter of the law, it was worth this concedeance (is that a word?) to move this forward.

Are you still here dear reader?  If so, I congratulate you, for now we are getting to the meat of this post (hmmm,yes, I suffer from logorrhea). The attorney said he’d have an order the following week.  As fortune would have it, I was going to have some time in a couple weeks that I could go back to the house & get my stuff.  Of course, that was ambitious of me.  So, I decided, even though the divorce wasn’t final, I would go back, see dear friends and get ‘some’ stuff. I was informed by the big BooBoo that I would not be allowed to get anything jointly owned.  I could only get personal stuff – which he has packed and put in the garage.  Thanks?

As God would have it, He prepared me for each step of unveiling.  Because this post is long enough, I won’t go into that right now.

I did not tell him when I would be there exactly.  I mentioned Monday.  Why should I? It’s my house.  Just because he has changed the locks, put in ADT security and moved his girlfriend in shouldn’t mean a thing.  And I would have been perfectly within my rights to use whatever force was necessary to gain entry into my house (it was no longer a home).

So, his idea of “packing” my stuff was throwing it all into trashbags (except the books, they went into boxes) and throwing it all into the outside garage like garbage.  Surprisingly, he wasn’t even the one to do it.  The girlfriend did.  Isn’t that special.  I examine fingerprints – handwriting is not a big leap.

When I spoke w/ my attorney, he was willing to immediately file another Motion for Contempt.  I told him, it is obvious the judge is on  Daddy BooBoo’s side, so what’s the point?  The judge has already told my attorney he would revoke the awarded attorneys fees if we kept “bothering” him with this trivial stuff.  Trivial?  Dude! It’s my life that has been trampled and tossed to the curb.  The Court was my only hope of protection.  And I didn’t even care if he took sympathy on me, all I ask is that he stick to what he, THE JUDGE, says, follow the laws of the state, and ENFORCE HIS OWN ORDERS.  But it seems not.  So, I just pray that this gets over soon.

Another year has passed with Daddy BooBoo celebrating our anniversary with his girlfriend.  There are so many other details that will leave you saying “Huh?, really?” that I can’t even seem to begin.  As you see, this simple post of throwing all my stuff away is outrageously long.  So, dear reader, if you are still here – thank you and God will Bless YOU for sharing your time with me.

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