Tornado, Hurricane, Tsunami


Rock, Paper, Scissors

I was in a small group of strangers trying to make small talk.  I mentioned that I was in a transition in my life which is what brought me to this area.  She asked if it was a good or bad transition.  That question has been whirling around in my head since.  My initial answer would be “bad” – but is it? really?  Here is my profound answer to myself:

It is what it is – good or bad is up to me.

I’m planning a trip back to The House to get some stuff.  Considering I left with only a suitcase, there is a fair bit of stuff left.  No, the divorce isn’t final, but I really do miss my studio.

Twisted, churned, knotted – I’m discombobulated right now.  I am desperate to see my friends and sink in their love, but scared to see him and the house.  But I can’t really decide why.  I can’t seem to even be able to articulate questions to examine why.

“I can’t never could” – I hate sappy cliches. I want to cry without excuse but I want to be over it.  I want to lock all these icky feelings in a box and be done with them. Where is the line between healthy emotional indulgence and sick wallowing?  Why exactly does it still wind me up? 21 months later – where am I supposed to be?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

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