Reading through my back entries, I’m not too sure why anyone reads this, but I’m glad you do.

As I perused, I saw that I’ve not told ya’ll about THE EMAIL.

THE EMAIL – wow, um, ok…..

I referenced it in a previous post, but now I know that it makes no sense if you don’t know the story of THE EMAIL.

Each year, a running joke between me & Daddy BooBoo was “we’ve been married X years and I still like you”.  See, in my first marriage, by the first anniversary I didn’t really like that husband any more.   But this was a new man with new adventures.  I did love him very very much.  Sure this blog is about his narcissism, but we had a lot of good times.  I loved him more than I thought I could ever love another human being.  I tried to make him happy without losing my self.  I failed miserably, but we’re not here for that right now.

The end of June 2011, we celebrated our 10th anniversary.  I made him a card for the occasion.  It was gorgeous.  It was black with a little heart that’s edges folded up with red underneath.  When you opened it up, it was a pop-up card with a big heart.  Under/inside the heart was his name in alternating black/red letters.  In it I wrote “Forever in my heart, Happy Anniversary”.

August we went to Salt Lake City, Utah for a professional conference.  We had a great time.  Things had been sticky between us when my daughter came home after being gone for 18 months (she was always a spot of contention between us), but I figured it was the same argument we’d had for 10 years and he’d get over it like he always did – because he was wrong and I usually just waited him out.   But time together, away – it was gr-ea-t.  Like “Mink great” if you know what I mean – hubba hubba.  We had one “discussion” while we were gone – very calm as he sat there at dinner telling me about everything I was doing wrong while I cried quietly trying not to draw attention to us.  OMG – writing this makes me see how freakin’ pathetic I was – but anyway…

All that happened.  Even knowing things were a little icky between us, “icky”, “sticky” and “not smooth” didn’t mean that our marriage was in danger – at least not to me. None of the topics of contention were marriage ending things.  Then the fateful mid-September Sunday morning when I received THE EMAIL.  He wrote it in the living room while I was asleep in the bedroom.  It said that I had “beat the love out of” him.  Yes, after telling him all that mushy shit on our anniversary and a mostly great trip, a few weeks later he doesn’t love me any more.  Ten years of marriage and he dumps me in an email.  Ruminate on that for a bit.


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